Matagal ka nang wala. At matagal ka na ring nananatili. Simula ng magpatuloy ka sa iyong paglalakbay na hindi ako ang tangan. Nananatili pa rin ang iyong bakas sa lupang dati mong kinatatayuan. Kung saan dating mga pangarap ay nabubuhay. Nanatili ang mga bakas na iyon, KASAMA AKO. Ngayon masyado ka nang malayo para sundan at habulin pa. Hindi ko na maaninag ang postura mo,hindi ko na rin alam kung tama bang hinayaan kitang suungin ang malawak na bukirin ng mag-isa. Ngunit ikaw ang may nais nito. Ikaw ang pumili nito. Ilang beses ko tinangkang ikilos ang mga paa ko pasunod sa iyo. Ngunit bago ka lumisan, sinabi mong magtiwala ako. Tama bang nananatili ako sa kiinatatayuan ko kasama ang nakaraan mo? ang nakaraan nating dalawa. O makabubuting iwan ko na ang mga ito at simulan nang maglakad patungo sa ibang direksyon? Taliwas sa daang tinahak mo. Magkikita pa kaya tayo? Sa dulo ba ng paglalakbay na ito, ikaw ang matatagpuan ko? Apat na bakas na ba ng paa ang tatanawin ko sa tuwing lilingon ako? Sana.. Sana.

Ihip ng hangin

Naglalakbay ang tinig mo sa hangin hanggang sa ang tinig ay makarating sa akin. Ang tinig mong naglalaro sa dilim. Dadalhin ka sa akin ng hangin. Dadalhin nito ang mga salitang tutunaw sa yelong nakabalot sa aking pagkatao. At sa oras na maganap iyon, Malaya ka ng makakalapit sa akin. Sa tulong ng hangin.

mabilis na lumalamig ang Kape

Tugma sa emosyon ko ang lamig ng paligid. Tinatanaw ko ang mga punong matatag na nananatili. Matatag sa kahit na sino pang nilalang sa kapaligiran. Naisip ko, marahil ginawa ang mga tao bilang kakaibang uri dahil may mga pagkakataong hindi nito kayang harapin ang lahat ng unos na maaring dumating sa kanya . Mga unos na maaring lumunod sa kanyang pagkatao. Mga unos na sumusubok sa hangganan ng pasensya niya. Mga unos na humuhubog sa tapang mo. Ang tanging abante ng tao sa iba pa Niyang nilikha, ilang beses mang matumba si Adan o si Eba, makakatayo ng tiyak sila. Hindi tulad ng mga puno. O maging ng hangin.

Malamig pa rin ang hangin. Kasing lamig ng pakikitungo nila sa akin. Sing bilis ng pagdampi ng hangin ang pagkawala nila. Hindi ko naaninag o nayapos man lang. Lumalamig na rin ang kape sa dilaw na tasa katabi na papel na sinulatan ko. Unti-unti na ring pumapait ang panlasa ko. Katulad mo. Katulad nila. Mapait at malamig ang pagtanggap sa presensya ko. Nahushagan ako base sa anyo at kulay. Sadya nga bang maling paghaluin ang lamig sa pait? O sadya lamang akong naging mapilit?

Unconditional love it is.

I've heard the songs of love when shared our vows of eternity. The songs kept playing on playing as we exchange bonds of our lifetime commitment. I was so happy that day that I cried. You gave me the sweetest kiss we’ve ever shared: A kiss that will last through out my existence. You hugged me so tight saying the words of happiness that finally you can call me yours.

We danced under the moon and the stars. I closed my eyes to feel you more. I heard a blast. It was not part of the songs that were played. I knew something’s wrong. I opened my eyes. You were looking at me.. Your eyes were almost in tears. Others were running away from us. I heard them shouting. I heard them crying. My heartbeat started to pound faster. You were slowly falling onto the ground. But your eyes.. your eyes.. They were still looking at me. I cried. I tasted pain. Your blood stained my hands and my dress. I kept on crying but you were stuck in my arms. You were stuck there with me. And there was silence.

And now, I am alone in this rocking chair. For fifty years, I stayed here. Embracing the moments we had. I have lived my life the way we planned it. And now, I’m on my way to you. Wait for me, I’ll be there with you. Wait for me my love, as I've waited for you.

a poem you didn't appreciate.

product of sadness and stress.

please do not copy.

Just Right Behind You

Your sadness is my FEAR

And your grieve is my TEAR

Your smile is what I SCREAM

Because your happiness is what I DREAM.

If only I could stop the PAIN

I would have done it before it CAME

If only I could make you OKAY

I would have risked my life to keep you SANE.

And if God forbids, I want you be with me

Even for just a second, I'll hold you so dearly

So you won't feel down and below

Cause even in the storm,

I'll stay with till the morning shows.

a night with my sis

One of my dearest friend wrote this..

Chesca, thank you for sharing. And as promised, i'll post this.

Mi cielo

It's been a while

You are with her

I'm with myself

I'm happy

I believe I am

I should be

I can't cry

I can't die

For it's been a while

Thank you

for making me realize

that it's been a while

been a while..

a while..

while..

While i smile

for a while

and cry

because finally,

i made myself

smile..

And it's been a while

Many times I ask my self, what it could have been if I didn't let him go? What if I told him I still want him around? what if I said NO? But now I know the answer why I didn't so. Maybe because I just wanted him the be “the ONE”. That maybe I needed him to be the "right one". I wanted him to be that SOMEONE. But in my heart and even in my mind, I knew that he's not. That it would still end. I knew that this is going to happen. I knew that it won't work out any longer. But I still tried, and end up not winning. But not losing as well. And maybe I was hurt badly, because I fail.. Do I feel disappointed? Well yes. Disappointed of my self. But I know it was a good fight. My hang-over of the 'what ifs" has finally ended. I am now sober. I guess this is how our story ends. And Not all love stories end the way we want it. Sometimes we think it would be better or even the best for us; to be separated from the people we love the most. But when the presence is gone, your heart will suddenly feel the slap of pain.

We all enter into a relationship because we have reasons, and whatever reasons we have, we believe its enough for us to stay and fight. But when the string that connects the both of you breaks, you can never say, "YOU DON’T CARE”. Cause it hurts. It really does. And when it’s over, sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or who to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job, in a family or with the people we know. We keep asking what went wrong and why it didn't work. We miss out some warmth in human relationship in giving each other support, love and care. Forgiving someone we love would be the easiest thing in the world. It's not just worry-free. It is also moving freely. Don't multiply pain, anguish and suffering by holding on to forgiveness. Life isn't just about hatreds and bitterness. It's far more than that. It is also about love,happiness, and forgiveness. :D