I've always been doing things that I think, would benefit many. Even if it means, sacrificing my own happiness and wants. But for the first time, I allowed myself to be selfish and follow my heart's desires. Somebody once said to me, "Do anything, anything to help you feel better. No matter what it takes." From then on, I started thinking what is good to me, if not, what I deserve. To say it best, I do what my heart trully wants.
And when I started sufficing myself, others have turned out to be in total dismay. Most of them did not favor my current relationship. They said, I deserve someone better than my partner. That I worth more than this. And I shouldn't be settling for something lesser than what I've had for the past years. Honestly, I agree.. But there's one thing that keeps me doing this.. Something that makes me stay in what they call a 'mess'. I am happy.. I really am. Shouldn't happiness be enough reason why you stay where you are, and do what to do? And if there's one thing that I know I deserve to have, that is HAPPINESS.
Having my partner around, regardless how odd the situation can be and how unrightful it is.. I am loved. And I also have fallen to someone I thought will remain just my 'crush'. With this I remember this quote, from Pope Pius XII, “ To live without risk is to risk not living. ”. I am certainly aware of the consequences on my actions. I have let this come this far.. But I had to take the risk. I don't wanna end up with having 'what ifs', 'what could have been,", "what might have been" and the like.. I seriously don't want to miss out on life because I have to beat other's criticisms. I do accept them, but it doesn't mean, I would let their judgments kill the happiness in me. And maybe, someday, if karma strikes, I should be stronger to face it.. But there's also a quote that says. “Karma is not just about the troubles, but also about surmounting them.”. So to Karma, I promise to give you a good fight. ^.^
ouch.
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