About Me

My thoughts about love life, and happiness were greatly influenced my childhood and experiences in life I could never regret.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

CRUSH

This song was written because I had this huge crush on someone.. And I thought of writing a song for my crush. I made a school set up so it won't be that obvious. ^.^

Nagmamadaling pumasok sa iskwela
naghihintay, nag-aabang..
sa daan kung san kita masasabayan

Sa loob ng klase..
palihim na pinagmamasadan
baka sakaling ako'y masulyapan..

Pagka't..

Isang ngiting mula sayo
ang lungkot ko ay naglalaho
pagka't ang iyong labi sa puso ko'y nangingiliti.
Isang sulyap sa iyong mata
ang puso ko'y sumisigla.
Masaya pag nariyan ka..
Lalo na pag solo kitang kasama..

Pagsapit ng uwian
maghihintay sa paradahan
sa jeep ika'y tatabihan..

Pagsapit ng gabi bago matulog..
ipapanalangin na sa panaginip
ika'y muling masulyapan..

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Challenger of Karma

I've always been doing things that I think, would benefit many. Even if it means, sacrificing my own happiness and wants. But for the first time, I allowed myself to be selfish and follow my heart's desires. Somebody once said to me, "Do anything, anything to help you feel better. No matter what it takes." From then on, I started thinking what is good to me, if not, what I deserve. To say it best, I do what my heart trully wants.

And when I started sufficing myself, others have turned out to be in total dismay. Most of them did not favor my current relationship. They said, I deserve someone better than my partner. That I worth more than this. And I shouldn't be settling for something lesser than what I've had for the past years. Honestly, I agree.. But there's one thing that keeps me doing this.. Something that makes me stay in what they call a 'mess'. I am happy.. I really am. Shouldn't happiness be enough reason why you stay where you are, and do what to do? And if there's one thing that I know I deserve to have, that is HAPPINESS.

Having my partner around, regardless how odd the situation can be and how unrightful it is.. I am loved. And I also have fallen to someone I thought will remain just my 'crush'.  With this I remember this quote, from  Pope Pius XII, “ To live without risk is to risk not living. ”. I am certainly aware of the consequences on my actions. I have let this come this far.. But I had to take the risk. I don't wanna end up with having 'what ifs', 'what could have been,", "what might have been" and the like.. I seriously don't want to miss out on life because I have to beat other's criticisms. I do accept them, but it doesn't mean, I would let their judgments kill the happiness in me. And maybe, someday, if karma strikes, I should be stronger to face it.. But there's also a quote that says. “Karma is not just about the troubles, but also about surmounting them.”. So to Karma, I promise to give you a good fight. ^.^

Sunday, December 11, 2011

At heart. (in reality)

Every relationship has its ups and downs. Its spontaneity drives everyone to act differently;to be someone they thought they'd never be. Some even lose themselves along the way. And when the relationship is over, they need time to find themselves back. But do we really lose ourselves? Or we just temporarily set aside who we are to adapt with the personality of the person we love? But we've never totally forgotten who we were before they met us.


A person is unconsciously programmed to change and meet the expectations of his/her partner.Though I certainly agree that no one is obliged to change and must be accepted for who we are, BUT.. it's like an automatic reflex that comes from within. Before you can even think of what to do, your body has responded already. It's like when you wake up, the first thing you do is open your eyes. Or when it's cold, your body temperature rises to adapt on the changes. So regardless if your partners ask for it or not, you give in. Should we blame them? Definitely not. Because they do the same. Everybody does it.


So do I.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Novels on your Pockets

I got this hobby of typing anything on Google's search box and whatever comes out, I read it. So as I was thinking of something to share today, I typed-in "online' and these keywords popped-out.

*online games           *online photo editor  *online photo editor
*online dictionary      *online jobs              * online books

And the one which caught my attention bigtime is this, ONLINE POCKETBOOKS!

So out of curiousity, I clicked one of the links and it showed me variety of Pocketbooks to read. And then I wonder if Filipino pocketbooks are also available online. So I added "Filipino" in the search box. And it did satisfied my curiosity, because YES. It is effin in the internet. There's an odd connotation when it comes to "Filipino Pocketbooks" which I disapprove but sadly it does exist. I started thinking, if most (disclaimer: I'm not saying all.) of readers of these pocketbooks are the helpers and students in HS. Now I know why our helper before used to borrow my laptop and the teens are so hooked up with the internet. (Haha!) Aha! it's not just the games and facebook they're after. Haha! But kidding aside, I am practically amazed with what I have discovered.

I browsed the different links available. I saw interesting and witty titles. e.g. A night to remember,Akala Ko Hindi Mo Pansin, Aliens Romance, All I need, Bakasyon, Breaking Silence, Pen-pen de Serafin,I meant it when I said I do (which I'm reading by the way). I find it very interesting because I can imagine the whole setting. It's as if I can hear their voices and I can relate easily because I am familiar with the language used and the set-up is easier to visualize. It adds 'Kilig' factor when reading. I sometimes imagine me and my partner as the characters of the story. Call me hopeless romatic, but hell yeah! it's cool! It made me laugh bigtime! And say "ayiiii" and "awww" a million times! haha!

However, most of the teens who are really fond of reading these pocketbooks (mostly about love and romance), are reluctant on buying these short novels at the bookstore because of the connotation that these books are for  "jologs, baduy, corny," individuals. I know because first, I was once a teenager. Secondly, with no shame, I read several of precious romance series when I was in first year college. But of course, none of the teenagers would want to be called by these odd names. So it's either they hide it from their friends,deny that they are a reader, or forget they even like it. Good thing, I have a bunch of true friends to tolerate this. :)

I guess I just found the benefit of having online pocketbooks. First, it saves our mother nature because of it's paperless contribution. Secondly, it gives opportunities to our young writers to post their works and be known. It also takes away the hesitation on reading.You can also save money because you may choose not to buy the hard copy and just save it on your flash disks. Lastly, it is more convenient because you can read it using your phone, tablet, or any gadget that has internet connection.

And before I forget, Kudos to all the writers of these pocketbooks. I adore your creativity! Cheers! ^.^

sources:
http://www.tagalogpocketbooks.org/
http://onlinepocketbook.blogspot.com/2010/06/i-meant-it-when-i-said-i-do-chapter-1.html
www.facebook.com/topreader

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

One More Chance

I was searching for the script of "One last Song", I thought it might be a good diversion of all my stress. And As I type the word "One",the drop down menu showed "One more chance". I remember how much I love this box office hit of Lloydie and Bea. I searched for the remarkable lines that crashed my heart. (yeah, I did because I watched it a million times and the impact's still the same.) Thanks to Google for always reminding of the things I thought I have forgotten. And for this, I will share the exact lines from one of my all-time favorite Filipino Movies. I tried to arrange these lines according to how I remember its sequence.

"I already gave 5 years of my life, it's about time you give me what i want' : Basha
--asking for freedom.


"I don't even know kung tama 'tong ginagawa ko, pero alam ko kailangan ko nang tapusin 'to." : Basha ( Bea Alonzo)
--as the song goes "there's never a right time to say goodbye, but you know, you gotta go.. on separate ways"..
  

"What if? hindi ko na gusto to. what if we're not growing together anymore? what if we could be HAPPIER pero nagtiyatiyaga lang tayo. : Basha
--this line was so sad. The feeling's no longer mutual. It's hard to stay in a relationship when you're not moving on the same direction as your partners'.

"Alam mo yung feeling na parang sinusuko ko na sayo lahat! Poy nakakasakal eh, nakakasawa. I wanna stop wondering, what if.. I want to know what is." : Basha

--Ouch! Undecided!

 "Alam mo ba'yung three month rule, ha?! Lahat ng nagmahal at nasaktan alam 'yun! Kailangan mo muna maghintay ng three months bago ka magka-boyfriend ulit! Ba't ba kating-kati kang palitan ako?! May dalawang linggo pa'ko bash!" : Popoy
--I was crying real' hard when Popoy threw this line to Basha. Gosh! It was full of emotion. He was so hurting, and was hopeless. :c

 "Lahat na ginawa ko! anu pa gusto mong gawin ko!? Put****naman bash! ganyan ka ba katigas!?" : Popoy
--Strong and powerful line! (oo nga naman!)

"Mahal kita, at ang sakit sakit na" :Popoy
-- I seriously wanna hug Lloydie when he said this. he was crying like a baby. And that added emotion to the viewers. i swear, everyone in the moviehouse was saying "awww.." I bet, they started hating basha in this scene.


"I love you and I will tell you everyday, Everyday until you forget the things that hurt. I hate the things that make you hurt And how I wish I could take them away. If only it could be done, I'll do it for sure. " : Trisha (Maja Salvador)
--"..but I can't do it.. because you won't let me.." She knew from the start that she's a rebound. But she took the risk because he loves Popoy genuinely.


"Yun ba ang tingin mo? Popoy, I just made a choice!" : Basha
--wrong move basha. wrong move. :s


"She love me at my WORST, You had me at my BEST. at binalewala mo lang lahat yon. and you chose to BREAK my heart."
--Slap of Reality.

"Don't ever think it was a mistake to choose to find yourself, to choose to love yourself a little bit more" : Mark (Derek Ramsey)
--sometimes, we forget who we really are when we enter a relationship. We get too engaged with the situation that we unconsiously lose ourselves.


"Minsan, it's better for 2 people to break up.. so they can grow up. It takes grown ups to make relationships work."
--Just like the trees, they are planted away from each other so they can have space to grow and mature. ^.^



"Ako naman ang may gusto nito diba? Pero bakit ang sakit-sakit?" : Basha
--REGRET??


"Sana kaya kong tiisin yung sakit na nararamdaman ko, kasi ako ung humiling nito diba, ako ung may gusto. Sana kaya kong sabihin sayo na masaya ako para sayo, para sa inyo. Sana kaya ko, sana kayo ko.. pero hindi eh."
---The break up wasn't easy for Bash too. There's no easy break up. It doesn't matter who initiated or wanted the break up, the point is.. in every break up, both parties feel the heartache. The intensity may not be the same, but pain is their common ground. And it's hard when you decided a break not because you're not in love with the person anymore, but because you needed to find yourself so you can love your partner more. It's even harder when the person who used to adore and love you, finds someone else to fill your space when you left.

"Ang totoo hanggang ngayon umaasa parin ako na sabihin mong ako parin. Ako na lang. Ako na lang ulit."
--It's not just Popoy who got hopeless in this movie, even Basha. She wanted the break up but she was hurting because she realized she never really wanted Popoy out of his life. She just did not want to miss out on life before settling with Popoy.


"baka kaya tayo iniiwan ng mga taong mahal naten, kase baka merong bagong darating na mas OK, na mas mamahalin tayo, yung taong hindi tayo sasaktan at paaasahin, yung nagiisang taong magtatama ng mali sa buhay naten, nang lahat ng mali sa buhay mo.."
--This is the part that broke my heart. Because Popoy was really hurting. Chino got hospitalized because his wedding got cancelled. Trisha was there, as well as Basha. All of them were hurting when he uttered this line. I can imagine how Basha felt when she heard this, it's as if she realized how much pain Popoy had experienced and that was all because of her. Trisha as well was hurting seeing Popoy still loves Basha. Because even they are together, he still feels the pain. I still can feel how much emotion Lloydie had brought to this scene. Kudos to him!
"ipikit mo ang mga mata mo, para kung masaktan man ako.. d mo makita." : Trisha
--I felt really sad for Trisha.

"Kung kaya pang ausin, pipilitin.. but if this is really what both of you need? then just be strong! magiging mahirap at masakit pero hopefully, all the pains will be worth it" : Krizzy (Dimples Romana)
--Acceptance. Move On. Hope.

"hindi mo alam kung gano ko kagustong sabihin sayo na.. sana tayo nalang, tayo nalang ulit. pero pag sa twing mararamdaman ko kung gano kita kamahal, hindi ko maiwasang maramdaman ulit lahat ng sakit. and IM SORRY. ako naman ang may kailangan ng panahon ngaun, para makalimutan ko na ang lahat ng sakit, para maalala ko ang lahat ng maganda at mabuti saten. para bumalik ang popoy na nawala nung ngkahiwalay tayo." : Popoy
--more tears. He has to get through the pain. To remember all the good things and forget how much she had caused him. It takes time to heal the wounds. But it will surely heal.


"I want my HEART to stop breaking, sana pag naging tayo na ulit, kaya na kitang mahalin ng buong buo. na walang halong takot kung masaktan man tayo ulit."
--I thought this is gonna be the ending line of the movie. It did broke my heart bigtime!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Sweets I deserve to have

After a stressful work load, how about giving yourself a treat?! These might help us all relax. Enjoy these desserts! I'll share more later! ^.^


Bluberry Cheese Cake
My all-time favorite Cake! Oh boy! I'd do everything just to have a slice! I'm craving bigtime for this!

Chocolat: Deep Dark Chocolate Cake
Gahhd. I miss this! I promise to be a good girl in exchange of this!


Carrot Cake
Not too sweet but ablosulety yummy!
Feel no guilt on eating cakes! ^.^

My Only Exception

For so many years, I tried to control this urge but finally, I have found the courage I needed to let it all out. I was completely convinced that my fate is to be with a man courageous enough to fight for me:Love and take good care of me;regardless of the consequences for choosing me. I tried my luck for many times but I failed for all those times. It even came to a point when I asked my self if it's wrong to love someone whole'heartedly, giving your best at your extent. I also thought that maybe nothing was right: the time was mocking; the place was odd; the reasons and ways of loving were scanty. And just now, I realized, it wasn't really the time, place, nor the reason that was wrong. It was the persons I've chosen to love. I've been loving the wrong persons that even with the right time, place and reasons, it still won't work. It will never work.


After all these realizations, I've finally given my self a chance to love and be loved by someone I consider to be the only exception. A lovely person who have feed my mind and heart with wonderful thoughts of true love,happiness, and excitement. I've been waiting for this kind of feeling. This feeling that even though everything else are considered to be unrightful, universe will suddenly conspire and all things will turn out right, because in my heart I know, I have met the right person to be with. The only person who deserves to have the best in me. Someone worth waiting for through all these years. And I realized, some love stories are meant to start wrong and different. But eventually it will end up right.

--For this, I thank you babe for coming into my life. You are what I ever imagined about love. You are my insipiration and my I will be forever blessed for having you. I love you baby! I always do. ^.^